Who the hell is Sylvia?

So for those of you keeping track, Bompa thinks he is going to be a millionaire and that he can buy Cape Cod.  But yesterday he added some more fun to the story.  Now, my Gramma passed away 2 years ago, from Alzheimer's.  My Grandfather met her when he was 12 years old and they got married when he was 17.  Last night he asked me where his wife and kids were.  I said, "What?"  He said "Where's Sylvia?"  I told him I didn't know who Sylvia was and that he was only married to Bessie.  He called ma a liar and told me if I read my mail I would know who Sylvia is.  Apparently she lives on the Cape (which is probably why he wants to buy it).  In fact, when we went away for vacation this weekend he told me to drop him off at the Cape and pick him up on the way back!   Personally, I enjoyed his last request better... He wanted me to call his special Canadian number, 343432, in the Village of Little Christmas Trees, and talk to the New York Stock Exchange about getting his million dollar check so he could buy the Cape.   Or maybe you'll like this one better...the other day he took me by the hands in some arms crossed secret code kind of way and told me he was turning all control over to me. I said Ok.  Then  he said that his brother Stan was in charge of the Universe and when Stan said it was OK, then Bompa would die and I would be in charge, because then I would be the President of the United States.  I'm gonna start carrying a tape recorder so I can keep it all straight!

Bompa I swear.....

Bompa, I swear to you that the war with Japan is over.
Bompa, I swear to you that Manchester CT did not buy Norwich CT and then move it to Wethersfield.
Bompa, I swear to you that it is 8:00 at night and you don't need to eat breakfast
Bompa, I swear to you that I didn't steal your paring knife, it's on the table where you left it.
Bompa, I swear to you that cousin Margaret did not become a New York resident and buy Cape Cod.
Bompa, I swear to you that I will listen to your stories, no matter how crazy.
Bompa, I swear to you that I will keep you safe and watch over you always!

You want me to do WHAT ?!?!

Last night Bompa asked me if I put all his clothes into a bag.  I said, "No."  He asked if I put all of our clothes into bags.  I said, "No, why, was I supposed to?"  He said that I needed to put all our clothes into bags and put them around the outside of the house.  I asked why and he said, "It was to stop the flood water from coming in."  I asked, "What flood water?"  He said,  "From the river."  I asked, "What river?"  He said,  "The one in Willimantic."  I said, "We're in Waterford and we don't live near a river."  He said, "That doesn't matter, when the glacier melts the river is going to flood our house all the way from Willimantic."  I said, "Well, I better get to bed and get a good nights sleep so I'll be ready tomorrow to fight that flood."  He said, "Sleep good!"

What do these things have in common?

So Bompa and I are sitting in the waiting room at Dr. DiFranscesca's office (foot Dr) yesterday afternoon for a 4:30 pm appointment.  There was a mix up the last time we were there and we are being seen by the partner today which doesn't really matter but I'm a detail person!  Anyway, while we are waiting Bompa starts talking to me rather loudly because he can't hear well so he figures nobody else can either.     Now the story he starts to tell ends up being about 10 minutes long and after about 30 seconds I can see that there is no need for me to try and remember the details because he won't remember them either.   So here are the people, places, and things that are all mentioned at some point and are apparently, in his mind, still related to one another.    The FBI, the war with Japan, the Willimantic Fire Dept, 500lbs of duck eggs (and he chuckles as he tells me about them), my sister Elizabeth, a fight between to politicians in Hebron CT, the Yankees, Steinbrenner, the Army Navy Game,  my sister-in-laws' inlaws, Dr Kelly the orthopedic surgeon, and lastly 500 baby ducks who hatched before anyone knew what to do with the eggs.  It really doesn't matter what the story was about because just listing the main ideas and people makes me start laughing. 
Oh and add to that the fact that I'm on his shit list because I didn't call the Red Sox on their dayoff yesterday and tell them to play baseball so Bompa could watch them last night.    And people wonder why I dye my hair hot pink??? It's so I look as crazy as I feel at the end of a very long day in the hell that is Alzheimer's!  Laughing really does help!

HUH ?????

"No Bompa, seriously I'm not the Asst Chief at the Eagleville Fire Dept! The president is not throwing me a party to celebrate my promotion.  And the Chief there is not the owner of the Christmas Tree Shop.   And just because she is the owner of the Christmas Tree Shop does not necessarily mean that she is married to Santa Claus."  Yes he was dead serious!  And then sadly he asked me if I knew where the bathroom was in his apartment because he couldn't remember! 

Keeping Bompa Busy

Bompa has a new hobby that keeps him busy all throughout the day.  Ice cubes!   He drinks crystal light iced tea all day everyday.  To keep his drinks from getting warm as he dozes he fills up his cup with ice cubes (that we make out of crystal light iced tea also so it won't water down his drink).  But he is obsessed with the ice cube trays.  They can never have any empty chambers.  So he is constantly taking cubes out and adding liquid to the trays.  He has some system that I haven't quite figured out.  He has one large "sippy" cup with a screw on lid and a straw, then some smaller cups.  He fills the small cup with ice cubes, then fills the big cup with cubes.  Then he adds liquid to the trays and puts them in the freezer.  He drinks from the big cup and leaves the cubes in the small cup to melt.  Then the next time he fills the big cup with ice he uses the liquid from the melted cubes in the small cup to fill the tray.  ??? I don't get it!  Then at night he takes both the big cup and the small cup into his room.  He opens the drawer on the bedside table just wide enough to set the two cups into the drawer.  Now, I have never seen him drink from the big no-spill cup during the night, just from the small cup which without fail he tips over into the drawer 5 out of 7 nights a week.  Now I have no problem at all with the mess he makes on the table, the floor, and the fridge as he is making his ice cubes, but my Gramma must be spinnin in her grave every time he dumps iced tea into the drawer of her Ethan Allen side table.  I'm gonna have to find a shallow pan to put in the drawer to contain the spills.   
      I must admit he is pretty inventive when it comes to problem solving.  I love to come around the corner to figure out what the banging noise is that I'm hearing only to find him chopping ice out of the ice cube tray with an 8 inch long butcher knife.  He uses the scissor tool on his swiss army knife to cut his licorice into smaller pieces, and the straw in his big cup doubles as a butter knife to spread peanut butter on crackers.  Gross!  I ask him why he didn't get a knife out of the drawer and he says aww this works just as good!   Okee Dokee Bompa!  I love ya!

Switching Uniforms

One night Bompa told me about how the Yankees and the Arizona team wrre going to switch uniforms and then play the game.  I asked him how they would know who won?  He said the Hebron Fire Department would oversee the game and decide who won. The thing that cracks me up is that he isn't even a Yankees fan, he is a Red Sox fan.